Maulidur Rasul 1428H

Just want to share three related nasyids in conjunction with our beloved Rasulullah's birthday...

This one by Haddad Alwi and Duta (Sheila on 7) might hit well with Faizly and those who enjoy Indonesian pop

This one is an all-time favorite of mine by Sami Yusuf

And this is for those who prefer traditional stuff...

Tips I've learned (and re-learned) for a safe delivery

*Recite Surah Maryam (for a safe delivery), Surah Yusuf (for a beautiful child), Surah Luqman (for a smart child) and Surah Muhammad (for a pious child). In my case, while I have khatam the Quran once during this pregnancy (in Ramadhan), I mostly 'cheat' by listening to online Quran recitation rather than reading it myself... bad bad A.Z...

*Recite lots of zikr and make a lot of do’a continuosly.

*Ask for forgiveness from dear hubby and parents.

*Drink lots of water. Drink plenty of soy milk or just plain milk.

*Birds nest is said to help improve immune functions of the fetus and enable the mother to recover easily after giving birth. A pity I forgot to stock up when I went back to Malaysia last summer though. Duh!

*Olive oil is said to be good too – not just for the stretch mark, but also to be taken orally, a teaspoonful a day. It could work as a 'selusuh' of some sort. So, it's no wonder one of hubby's uncles is fond of giving away olive oil to his pregnant nieces...

*Eat a lot of vegetables, especially dark green leafy ones (including seaweed). Nori - mmm yummy!

*Eat a lot of other iron-rich food to prevent anaemia - meat, poultry, fish, legumes, whole-grain, but note that iron from animal products is better absorbed by the body than that from plant sources. Taking Vitamin C can help the body absorb more iron too.

*Eat a lot of dates – this is supposed to help with the birthing as well as promoting a plentiful milk supply for the baby. Eating a lot of white radish (daikon) might help breast milk production too. Tried eating a lot of daikon when I was breastfeeding Huzaifah, and alhamdulllah, it worked well as claimed by my mak bidan.

*Exercise! Pelvic exercise (Kegel), swimming, prenatal yoga and walking all are said to be good for pregnant mommies. Guess climbing 5 flight of stairs could count as good exercise too, but I must admit that I do not do it daily though, heh.

*Doctor's order (seriously!) - making love - including just cuddling, kissing and hugging - can help in many ways - relaxes the pelvic muscles, ripens the cervix, relieves tension, produces helpful hormones etc. Due to the release of oxytocin, making love is a common way overdue pregnant mommies try to bring on labor.

*Walk about, even as the contraction starts, because gravity helps the baby to move down, easing baby lower and deeper into the birth canal, pressing on the cervix and shortening the labor. Last time, I walked about at home for a few hours as it made the contraction pain more bearable than laying on the bed. By the time I reached the hospital, Huzaifah was apparently ready to say hello to the world with less than 30 minutes in final labor.

*Never tried this one, but a friend shared a tip inherited from her late mother - from the 7^th month onward, a pregnant mother might want to drink a little bit of the last rinse every time she washes her hair while reciting the selawat and making do’a for an easy labor.

*Recite surah Abasa, verse 20 (summas sabil la yassarah) as labor begins. Some swear by reading Nabi Yunus’s doa (la ila ha illa anta, subhanaka inni kuntum minazzolimin), but personally I found it to be too long in the crucial moment when breathing becomes more labored and pain becomes more acute.

*Don't be afraid - it's painful, yes, but women are built tough enough to handle this. I've heard of fathers who fainted in the labor room just from looking at all the blood... but since hubby missed Huzaifah's delivery, we thought this time around it could be a bonding experience for him to be present while I give birth...

*Again, make a lot of do'a - a quick, easy, safe delivery is after all a gift from Allah...

Additional tips are most welcomed :-)

A response to a long and loaded comment

Dear Ponderer,

First, my husband knows what I write here and he has no problem with it. No, the previous entry was not about him sulking. The entry was about a crappy birthday that resulted from a crappy week before that. I’m explaining this just in case you didn’t get that, because you inferred that hubby had made some mistakes, yet I saw none. He just had a bad week – and hence a bad birthday, that’s all.

And I did wrote in the previous entry about him not being the kind to celebrate birthdays - but I do, and I had wanted to celebrate his birthday. Yes, birthday is a good day to contemplate, to reflect on the past and all, but I don’t see any harm in making it a merry day as a way to express our gratitude to Allah for allowing us to live up to this point. (By the way, are you aware that even Rasulullah celebrated his birthday by fasting on Mondays – to mark the day he was born?) Again, I do not see any mistake made by hubby just because he had a lousy birthday. So, what exactly is the mistake that you keep referring to and claimed that I should not reveal?

As for his duties as the imam-cum-super-all-in-one here in the mosque – he tries his best to do what he could. You said that in the past an Imam did not get paid any allowance or provided a place to stay. If I may remind you – in the past, people have Tok Siak to take care of the mosque. And once in a while, the whole qariah of the mosque would assemble for a gotong royong to clean it up and make it nicer. We don’t have that here. Hubby is the imam, the siak, the secretary, and everything else in between. No, he is not working for money (he doesn’t get that much for allowance anyway), but yes I think he deserves a break sometimes from having to do everything himself. Hence I don’t see him growling on his birthday as “a mistake that should not be revealed to others because it reflects badly on him as an imam” – it was just a sign that he needed a break.

By the way, too many people feel that when it comes down to ‘kerja agama’, one has to be sincere, has to do it ‘ikhlas, lillahi taala’ because it is after all a ‘fisabilillah’ task and one will be rewarded by Allah. What many fail to appreciate is that even people who carry out ‘kerja agama’ need financial support too. After all, every other jobs, so long as they are halal, could also be classified “fisabilillah”, thus everybody should also be “ikhlas, lillahi taala”, and should not expect any monetary rewards, huh? Yet in practice, we don’t really see that happening, do we? Often we find parents who wouldn’t mind paying a small fortune for their kids’ tuition fees, but are rather stingy when it comes down to paying an ustaz to teach Al-Quran or fardhu ‘ain. Often we find people who could be oh-so-generous when it comes to belanja in the canteen, yet are tightfisted when it comes down to sedeqah for ‘kerja agama’.

And before you wonder yet again if hubby knows what I write this time – he sat right beside me as I wrote this one. So there.

What a crappy birthday...

Hubby had a pretty crappy birthday earlier this week.

We had been looking forward to a visit to either Kamogawa Sea World or Mother Farm in Chiba – but had to cancel it because something came up at the mosque.

Actually, a few things came up at the mosque the previous week.

First, the gas supply was cut for a few hours.
Then, there was a problem with the water pump in the basement – which had just been replaced last September, so we were very much perplexed when there was no water on the upper floors except for the first floor.
The water pump problem turned out to be caused by a flooded water tank area.
Then, the kitchen sink in our house clogged badly, tried to be fixed up by a friend but ended unusable due to some leakage.
We also found out that the water heater in our bath is actually 27 years old and needed a replacement badly.
Not to mention the water heater at the kitchen – not quite 27 years, but also in need of replacement as the maker no longer produce spare parts for this particular model, and it no longer functions properly.

The gas supply was cut for a few hours because apparently the bills were not settled in time. Hubby made a few calls – because normally the bills are paid elsewhere by someone else in the ICOJ, unless they specifically ask hubby to pay the bills by depositing some money in our account. There had been no request for him to pay the gas bills before and he had faxed the bills to the person normally in charge of paying the bills back in January or February.

The person claimed that he had received no such thing. Hubby then faxed the fax that he had sent earlier, to which the person claimed that he could not make the payment because he need the original stub to do so, and hubby did not send him the original stub. Hubby asked him back – what about earlier bills then? How did he settle the payment for the earlier bills? He said he either came to pick up the original stubs in the office or he asked hubby to send them by post. So, why didn’t he ask hubby to do the same this time around? Or send some money to us so that we could pay them ourselves? The person on the other line of the phone went really quiet…

Gas is needed for a lot of things – the heater, the hot water supply, for cooking (we don’t have ‘tong gas’ like we have back in Malaysia), so I asked hubby to use our money first to pay the bills, which he did, and I called the gas company to resume the service, which they did within a few hours.

Just as we felt relieved at having the gas back, suddenly there was no water in our house. The last time this happened was back in last year’s Ramadhan, and back then it was due to some problems related to the water pump in the basement. Hubby went down to check on it – found the water tank to be full, but the pump did not seem to be functioning.

Because the water pump caused a small fortune (about RM10,000), it came with free after sales service, so we called up the water pump company. A technician arrived in the evening to give it a look. Apparently the water tank area in the basement was flooded – so he asked us to clean and dry up the water tank first before he can give the water pump a proper look. Understandably, he was reluctant to give it a proper inspection, perhaps afraid of being short circuited or something.

Hubby made a few other calls to some people that night. Unlike in September when water at least reached the 2^nd floor, this time water was only available on the 1^st floor – and he had to carry a few buckets of water up to the 5^th floor, out of consideration for me.

Kamarol happened to stay with us that night, plus another Bangladeshi musafir from Hokkaido – so hubby engaged their help to clean up the basement a bit. It was filled with lots and lots of junk – plastic wares, steel poles, used clothing and all kind of waste. Hubby had never cleaned them out before this, because most of them were too heavy to be handled by a lone man. He had asked for help before from ICOJ people to clean the basement, but his request was easily dismissed and he was told in reply to ask for help from his friends to clean the place up.

Alhamdulillah, early the next morning, there was an electrician who is a friend to a friend, who agreed to come and take a look at the flooded basement. After some poking here and there plus using some equipment hubby forgot to use, they managed to dry up the water tank area a bit and got the pump working – at least to get the water up to the 4^th and 5^th floor. Another call was made to the water pump company, asking them to take another look.

They had the matter fixed somehow the following evening, to hubby’s great relief, because it was Thursday then, and it was important to have the water supply on the 2^nd floor because that is where people have their ablution and the following day was a Friday when a lot of people would be coming for Jumu’ah prayer.

However, just as I was about to rejoice in having water at the house, Kamarol became extra ‘rajin’ and tried to fix the often-clogged kitchen sink by using pipe cleaner liquid (as well as pipe cleanser pills) and an old-fashioned black rubber stick pump. His mission failed, and we had a leakage instead, rendering the kitchen sink totally out of order.

And the water supply to the 2^nd floor stopped just as Jumu’ah prayer was about to begin.

Thus Friday yet witnessed another effort by the water pump boys. They succeeded to a certain degree, with a promise of a return trip on Sunday evening.

Friday too witnessed a kind friend calling up washroom accessories suppliers to get quotations for bathroom hot water heaters, and someone promised to come and visit us and give a quotation on Monday.

Sunday, the water boys came again for yet another repair session. Hubby asked one of the guys to take a look at our out-of-use kitchen sink which he did. He tried some pumping/probing/poking, but to no use, so he ended up putting some sort of powder, asking me to refrain from using the sink for one whole day and he would return the next day to take another look.

With two different companies promising to visit us on Monday, it meant we could not go out, which also meant a cancellation of any trip to celebrate hubby’s birthday.

Which perhaps explained why he was not in a good mood that day. When I asked if there’s anything he would like me to cook for him that day – he just growled that he does not celebrate birthday, just cook whatever I felt like cooking. And he growled a lot that day, complaining about this and that – which in turn made me felt a little bit exasperated too, but I tried to contain it because it was his birthday after all.

The water pump boy returned on Monday, when everything finally returned to normal – resumed water supply on all floors, working kitchen sink in our house, and all. The guy from washroom accessories shop called us to postpone his appointment to two days later though.

As for hubby, I cooked some Indonesian rawon (East Javanese beef soup with lots of spices) and one of his favourite dish, ayam masak sos but they were left untouched. He did not even took any dinner.

But then again, it was his birthday after all. He could growl and sulk all day long if he wanted. Probably anyone else would sulk too if it happened to them – a crappy birthday following a crappy week…

To one sincere, committed officer...

When hubby read out loud news regarding the passing away of Allahyarham Datuk Dr Salleh Hassan, I immediately thought that the name sounds familiar.

I asked Mak the following day during our Skype session. Mak confirmed that she used to know him. She visited him a few hours before he passed away and visited his house the following day to pay her last respect just before he was buried in Putrajaya.

He suffered from cancer, and when Mak visited him, he could no longer speak but communicated using notes. He was Mak’s junior, and in earlier days, Mak found it easy to criticize him for his chain-smoking habit. Sometimes, when she had a chance to do so, she even took the cigarette packet from him and literally threw it away. And he would only grinned sheepishly as he listened to Mak’s lecture on how bad smoking is for his health.

Friday is usually considered a good day to pass away – it’s the holy day and chances are one who pass away on a Friday would get more congregation for ‘solat jenazah’, hence more people making do’a for him or her. And as Allahyarham Datuk Salleh was obviously a well-liked person, there were many who attended his funeral.

I have never known him personally – but I know Mak to be a good judge of character. She has high regards for the guy – lots of respect, like and admiration. She even told him once that if she could use “sayang”, then he would definitely be one of her colleagues that she really “sayang”.

“What made him so special, Mak?”

“Too many people out there are busy establishing “network”, yet in truth they are merely tukang kipas - self-promoting themselves yet are not doing substantial work to prove their worth. He wasn’t like that. He got along well with everyone without even trying. All because he did not give anybody any reason not to like him. He was very dedicated, very passionate about his work. But most importantly he was sincere, and it showed”

I may not know him personally, but Mak's description was enough to convince me that the civil service had indeed lost one great officer. We have too many a** kissers and yes-men out there that it's almost rare to find a great officer in a well-deserved position...

Here’s to one sincere, committed officer whose loss is deeply felt – Al-Fatihah.

Breech no more

“Has the baby turn its head downward?,” the nurse asked after the normal greetings.

“I am not sure. I hope so though”

She checked my tummy, pressing the lower part of my abdomen a little bit.

“Hmmm… It’s difficult to tell isn't it…”

As soon as I laid on the inspection bed, the doctor quickly scanned the lower part of my abdomen…
The baby’s head appeared on the screen.

“Yokatta! Yokatta!” the doctor applauded while clapping her hand cheerfully.
And I heaved a long meaningful “alhamdulillah”…

I’ve been pretty worried about Huzaifah’s adik because baby had been in breech position since week 28 and had remained so during the last two check up (week 30 & 32). The doctor had said that she's giving me until week 36, and if baby remains in breech position, she was going to prescribe c-section for me.

I was scared. Frightened. Terribly alarmed.

Despite being the mountain climber that I am, someone who seeks all kind of adventures through thrilling rides at amusement park, abseiling, rappelling and even once dreamed of bungee jumping – the mere thought of c-section really scared me.

“It’s not that bad,” Tipah who had gone through 2 c-section operations assured me through e-mail. “One minute you knew you were going to have a baby, and the next, your baby is already out,” was another friend’s way of reassuring me. Really, nothing to worry about...

But I was still scared.

So I tried to learn as much as possible about how to encourage the baby to change its position. Tried finding out tips from friends, family members, seniors, juniors – whether online or offline. Tried getting information from various websites on the net.

Hubby prepared air penawar by reading Ayat 54, Surah Al-Anfal.
Both hubby and I tried massaging my tummy, cajoling baby to get back to normal position.
I tried visualizing baby’s head moving down too.
I practiced sujud (knee-chest position) for more than 5 minutes after subuh and before sleeping, and slept on my right side as advised by the doctor.
The sujud is “to make space for the baby to turn back to normal positon”, claimed Ani, a junior who encountered similar problem during her 32^nd week and tried the ‘tidur tonggeng’ thingy for 10 days before baby returned to normal position in the 34^th week.

Yesterday, as I boarded the bus to go for my 34^th week check-up (I have stopped cycling beginning week 32), I prayed fervently that baby had turned to normal position, just like Ani’s baby did. I massaged my tummy gently, asking baby to help me out in this one.
Please, please, pretty please…

No words could exactly describe my joy at seeing baby’s image on the ultra-sound scan monitor – with the head upside down as it should be.

No words could exactly describe my relief of not having to anticipate going through an operation in a foreign country where I can’t speak the local language fluently and English is not used much.

Alhamdulillah…

Zain Bhikha's "Our World"

Our world

Every morning on every news flash
I hear the sorrow of the world
It seems like everybody's lost and scared
Trying to make sense of it all

And as I travel to and fro,
so many faces pass me by
I see lonely hearts living lonely lives
just biding their time
And while we call ourselves civilized,

many people living empty lives
As they drone their way through day and night

# Chorus

I pray for our world,

I pray for every child
I pray for our world

to be filled with smiles
Like the colours of a rainbow

and not just black and white
I pray for our world

to be filled with light
I pray for all of us, to choose the path that's right
Believe in Allah every day of our lives

In the evening on the TV news,

I see images of war.
I see brother killing brother

with no consequence at all.

And while those who claim to be leaders,

sell us tales of deceit.
But Allah alone knows in their hearts

what they reveal and conceal.

And while we call ourselves civilized,
We go on killing human lives
Too caught up in our own web of lies

Chorus
I pray for our world,

I pray for every child
I pray for our world

to be filled with smiles
Like the colours of a rainbow

and not just black and white
I pray for our world

to be filled with light
I pray for all of us, to choose the path that's right
Believe in Allah every day of our lives

Every mother, every father,

every daughter, every son
Don't you see, that the answer lies

only with the One

Repeat chorus

Artist: Zain Bhikha,

Album: Our World, 2003